The Pizza Principle

It's Not All About You

Ordering pizza for lunch on set is usually a sign that a production has run out of money or energy. On a low budget shoot, meals are ordered by someone who has a lot of other responsibilities, and good taste becomes an after thought, weighed against cost and simplicity of ordering. If they order pizza on day one, you know you’re in for a rough ride.

Still, there are advantages to pizza: it’s cheap/affordable (depending on your point of view); it’s calorically dense; most people will eat it; you can eat it quickly; you can even carry it with you and still have one free hand to work.¹

So every production, big or small, from student films to studio blockbusters, eventually orders pizza, even if only for second meal. Which is why it’s surprising that, like answering the phone, many people don’t know how to do it right. Even something as simple as ordering a pizza, there’s a larger principle at work. You gotta look at the bigger picture.

But first, let’s focus on the basics.

I’m not going to tell you how an app or website works. You can figure that out. I’m going to tell you

What to Order

Cheese and pepperoni are the two standard pizzas in America. You know basically everyone will eat one or the other of those.² So if you’re ordering two pizzas for a small crew or office, that’s what you go with.

But when ordering a dozen or more pizzas to feed a hungry set,³ people make the mistake of ordering six cheese and six pepperoni. You see, while everyone will eat cheese or pepperoni, they’re nobody’s favorite. In fact, in a large group of people, you’ll rarely get any agreement on the ideal topping choice.

So here’s what you do instead: get ten or even twelve different kinds of pizza. Order a supreme, a vegetarian, a meat lovers, Hawaiian, white pizza, one that’s just bacon, one that’s just mushroom. And yes, a cheese and a pepperoni. Ask a random department head what’s their favorite. Ask a fellow PA. Roll dice. Go nuts.

Which brings me to the larger principle I mentioned earlier.

Your Taste Doesn’t Matter

Some of those probably sound gross to you, and that’s the point. You’re not ordering for some hypothetical average crew member, and you’re certainly not ordering for yourself. You’re trying to give everyone what they like, or at least some approximation thereof.

It’s your job to assist the production. It’s not about what you like; it’s about everyone else. Everyone.

I see this mistake all the time. A PA gets sent out for crafty, and they come back with only snacks that they like. I remember a chick who was asked to get some magazines for the casting office, and she came back with fashion and gossip rags; no car or tech mags, let alone news. A producer wanted to hang classic movie posters around the office, and his assistant ordered exactly the kinds of movies you’d expect from a 24 year old dude, without the slightest deviation.

The problem in all of these cases was the assistant thinking only about what they like. And listen, I enjoy Fight Club and I’ll indulge in a little celebrity gossip now and then, but for Pete’s sake, give people a little variety. Don’t just order cheese and pepperoni.

One More Thing

I was looking at some stats, and to my surprise, the Advice & Answers posts are actually more popular than these job boards. It made me wonder, would people prefer if I separate these?

1. Producers would feed the crew through tubes and keep them working non-stop if they could.

2. Or they just don’t eat pizza, in which case, tough luck.

3. Or sometimes when the production office, art department, post-production, and even writers room are all in the same building.